Lost and Lonely

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 00:47:05 GMT

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Fri, 23 Sep 2005 00:45:33 GMT

firsts
first best friend/s = Beth
first job = Babysitting
first screen name = Sportsbabe6769
first self purchased cd = Stutter by Joe
first funeral: My great grandmother when I was like 2
first piercing/tattoo = Ears when I was in kindergarden
first enemy = Laura somthing...(Roseville)
first big trip = Florida, I was an infant :)

lasts
last long car ride = Cedar point with Chris :)
last library book checked out = The vampire named Violin by Anne Rice
last beverage drank = Dr. Pepper from Micky D's
last food consumed = A double cheese burger
last phone call = My mommy
last time showered = 2 days :D
last shoes worn = Vans
last song played = Cold by Crossfade
last annoyance = Chris, he talks way to much, and he acts like he's gay
last time you had sex = Last night

describe your
wallet = negative
underwear = negative
tattoos = negative
room = tornado pathway
boyfriend= Tall skinny with really thick glasses, he's so cute
parents = Mommy: cool, whiney, bitchy, but fun. Dad: gets mad throws stuff, you know the usual (just kidding)

this or that
[boxers or briefs] = COMANDO!
[plaid or striped] = Nodda
[salt or pepper] = Pepper, like Dr. Pepper
[okay, ok, or o.k.] = okay
[bright colors or dark colors] = Always gotta mix 'em up
[tic-tacs or certs] = I like gum, lasts longer
[sunshine or rain] = rain
[rain or snow] = the beach
[sun or moon] = stars
[silver or gold] = silver
[silk, cotton, or flannel sheets] = Cotton
[preps or freaks] = both put together as one
[popcorn-with or w/out butter] = GALLONS
[ketchup, mayo, mustard, or relish]= ketchup + mayo = yum
[shampoo + conditioner in one or separate] = separate, but use them both

if you were ____ what would it be?
an animal = a sardine
a fruit = pomagranite
a vegetable = a carrot
a color = puke green
a bug = a maggot

short answer
are you smart? when
do you like onions? ogres are like onions
what instruments can you play? all of them, with my butt cheeks, oh yeah I'm that good
what words do you overuse? faggot, shut up!, are you serious!, oh...my...gosh! are you fucking kidding me?
do you sleep with socks on? my hands
are you ticklish? oh my butt cheeks are you shy? not one bit
do you talk to yourself? are you kidding? I'm my own best friend!
do you have a basement or an attic? pebbles
did you go to preschool? can you tell
are you a morning person? only when I ride the bus

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
you touched? myself
you talked to?: my danielle you hugged?: my dog
you instant messaged?: myself, when I get bored I do that
you kissed?: Chris
you yelled at?: Chris
you thought about?: Chris
who text messaged you?: Myself
who broke your heart?: Chris
who told you they loved you?: Chris

number
# of drugs taken illegally: EVERYONE!
# of people i could trust with my life: EVERYONE!
# of pets you have, kind, name: 1 horse; Colour, 2 dogs; Baxter and Xena, 1 cat; Yumi, 1 rooster; shithead, 1 possum; "Ahh, fuck guys!".
# of scars on my body: tons, and tons, and tons, and tons... I have one on my nipple!
# of things in my past that i regret: regret nothing... completely...

# of times you farted during this quiz: 27 toots

^^ thought you guys might like that one :)

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 14:44:03 GMT

WRATH

1. Who did you last get angry with?: My Mom
2. What is your weapon of choice?: My finger
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?: Yup
4. How about of the same sex?: Yup
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?: Danielle, because I was puking, and my mom would drive her home

6. What is your pet peeve?: People that are really annoying and giggle at stupid shit
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?: No, people die too often

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?: The dishes

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?: Does it really matter, I don't know

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: God
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?: "We stopped and talked to Laura"

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Hell Yeah
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?: Yesterday night.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?: Didn't set it

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?: Red Bull
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?: White

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?: Usually wehn that happends, you don't remember it

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?: Can't say I have

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?: Naw

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?: Not sweet
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"?: All the time

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?: Like 10, everyday
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?: 20498753753498569823456927354 <--that many
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?: Who doesn't?

4. Have you "done it"?: yeah
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?: Eyes

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?: All the time, they like it

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?: No

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?: 84

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?: What the hell?

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?: A helium tank, and lots of balloons
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?: Uh, both?

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?: Uh, yeah...?

6. Have you ever stolen anything?: Nope

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?: One, but it's my cousin's.

PRIDE

1. What's one thing have you done that you're most proud of? Learning how to ride my bike
2. What's one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?: Who the hell knows

3. What's one thing would you like to accomplish in your life?: Not die too soon
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?: No...
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?: Uh... I don't know

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?: No?

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?: I parked very well

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?: Their pencil
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?: Never seen it
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?: Micheal Jackson, that man can get away with anything

4. Have you ever been cheated on?: Who hasn't been?
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?: Doesn't everyone?

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?: A penis?

7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?: No, why would I?

8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?: Lust

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 14:23:27 GMT

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Amber
Birthday:	2-13-89
Birthplace:	Detroit, Mi.
Current Location:	Wales, Mi.
Eye Color:	Green
Hair Color:	Burgundy
Height:	5'2"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Both
Your Heritage:	Irish and Polish and German and Crack Smoker (Just Kidding :) )
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Van's (They are like 2 years old)
Your Weakness:	Being alone, crying, being wrong
Your Fears:	Being Forgotten, being alone
Your Perfect Pizza:	Bacon and pineapple
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	To lose about 25 lbs, and also to be just plain happy with myself
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	Don't really go on it too much anymore...
Thoughts First Waking Up:	"OH SHIT AM I LATE?!"
Your Best Physical Feature:	My eyes, and lips
Your Bedtime:	When I get real bored
Your Most Missed Memory:	Life
Pepsi or Coke:	Dr. Pepper
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Rally's
Single or Group Dates:	Uh... Depends on who the other couple is...
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	Yes, unfortunatly
Do you Swear:	Yup
Do you Sing:	Hell Yes I DO
Do you Shower Daily:	Of course... Unless I'm sick and can't move
Have you Been in Love:	Yup, still am :)
Do you want to go to College:	Yeppers
Do you want to get Married:	Yeah, not at the moment though
Do you belive in yourself:	I'm ovbiously I'm real, durr...
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Naw... Well guess it depends on who driving :)
Do you think you are Attractive:	Nope
Are you a Health Freak:	Ha, I wish, but it's too hard
Do you get along with your Parents:	Nope, not usually
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Hell Yes
Do you play an Instrument:	No
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	He-he... Naw of couse not! ;)
In the past month have you Smoked:	Yeah...
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	No
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Nope, well I don't know accually
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No, I don't like Oreos
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Eww...
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Yeah
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	No
Ever been Drunk:	Yeah
Ever been called a Tease:	No
Ever been Beaten up:	Yeah everyday
Ever Shoplifted:	No
How do you want to Die:	I don't really want to die
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Not living off the streets I guess
What country would you most like to Visit:	Canada
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	Doesn't matter
Favourite Hair Color:	Purple
Short or Long Hair:	Long
Height:	5'6"
Weight:	Not Gargantuan
Best Clothing Style:	Doesn't really matter now does it
Number of Drugs I have taken:	148725638973687132
Number of CDs I own:	Who the fuck knows
Number of Piercings:	3
Number of Tattoos:	None
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	If I would regret them I wouldn't do them, eh?

Wed, 25 May 2005 16:41:55 GMT

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isn't hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

Imagine all the people sharing all the world.

You and Me.

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 15:39:42 GMT

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 15:55:24 GMT

Fill this out with...
[X] if we have
[/] if you would
[~] if you wouldn't

[ ] hang out with me
[ ] go see a movie with me
[ ] make a move on me during that movie
[ ] hug me
[ ] hug me a lot
[ ] kiss me
[ ] use your tongue
[ ] dance with me
[ ] let me put my hand on your butt
[ ] put YOUR hand on MY butt
[ ] be alone in a room with me
[ ] go on a date with me
[ ] go to dinner with me
[ ] pay for it
[ ] get me drunk
[ ] take me to your place
[ ] sleep with me (no sex, actually sleep)
[ ] cuddle with me
[ ] sing in a car with me
[ ] grind with me
[ ] play strip poker with me
[ ] caress me
[ ] date me
[ ] let me kiss you
[ ] let me borrow your car
[ ] have a fling with me
[ ] be there for me
[ ] buy me a drink
[ ] bring me around your friends
[ ] give me a massage
[ ] take me out to a party
[ ] love me
[ ] hang out with me more then two times a week
[ ] miss me
[ ] enjoy being with me

I thought this was funny, so leave a comment and fill this shit out for me! :)

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 17:39:32 GMT

Fuck this,
Fuck you.

Media eats away at people.
It's eaiting away at me.

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 17:36:00 GMT

I want to go back.

Let me go back.

I'm so anxious right here.

Right now.

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 17:30:51 GMT

FOUR NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Amber
2. Willis
3. Twitch
4. Little One

FOUR THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eyes
2. My lips
3. ?
4. ?

FOUR THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My face
2. My body
3. My weight
4. My personality

FOUR PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. German
3. ?
4. ?

FOUR FAVORITE HANGOUTS:
1. Mall
2. Movies
3. My house
4. My room

FOUR BEST FRIENDS:
1. Danielle
2. Sameii
3. ...
4. ...

FOUR THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Being hit
2. Being alone
3. Being forgotten
4. Being lied to

FOUR THINGS YOU HATE IN GENERAL:
1. School
2. Being alone
3. Not being able to do what you know you have to because you’re afraid to do it
4. Crying

FOUR OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Me
2. My toothbrush
3. My clothes
4. My purse

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Mudd Jeans
2. Brown and pink Skull AE T-shirt
3. Gray Hurley zip-up
4. Red bra, polka dot Victoria’s Secret underwear, and socks

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS AT THE MOMENT:
1. Tool
2. Flaw
3. A Perfect Circle
4. Mudvayne

FOUR REASONS YOU'VE BROKEN UP WITH EXES:
1. Cheating
2. Cheating
3. Cheating
4. Lies and deceit

FOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Lasagna
2. Chicken Parmesan
3. Spaghetti
4. Cesar Salad

FOUR THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Trust
2. Happiness
3. Late night calls just to say good night
4. Love

FIVE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Hands
3. Smile
4. Voice
5. Sensitivity

FOUR THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Be happy on my own
2. Survive alone
3. Say goodbye to the one that I need to
4. Be happy with the way I look, and eat healthy

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Cuddling with someone who cares about me
2. Spending time with someone who cares about me
3. Watching movies
4. Sleeping

FOUR THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. Happiness
2. Trust
3. A blanket, and a pillow
4. The person who cares about me the most

FOUR CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Cosmetologist
2. Grade school teacher
3. A cartoon porn artist
4. A homicide detective

FOUR PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Hawaii
2. Florida Keys
3. African Safari
4. Australia

FOUR THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Live
2. Have sex for more than four to six hours straight (sorry, had to answer the question honestly)
3. Become extremely wealthy
4. Enjoy and love to wake up every morning

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 17:35:20 GMT

Funny Stuff!

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 17:34:21 GMT

I was hurt today...

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 17:32:55 GMT

...by the person I thought I could trust.

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 17:31:29 GMT

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 17:37:05 GMT

I think I can breathe.
I'm starting to see.
Kiss me now,
And lay next to me.

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 18:49:53 GMT

Sitting alone in my room...
Bleeding again...
Dying again...
This hurt burns a hole inside of me...
If only I could make you see...
I tear my skin open...
I watch it bleed...
Hoping it will be the thing that can set me free...
But you can't see me...
You won't even try...
I can't show you...
When all I do, is sit here and cry...
I want to show you, what you could mean to me...
All I need is time, then maybe I can make you see...
What this world is doing to me...
And what you can do for me...

Of all the things I'm waiting for, I think this one could be real, and I don't want to do this alone anymore. And that's what I need you for.

Fri, 20 Aug 2004 05:52:46 GMT

Falling to the floor...
Lifeless...
Hopeless...
Heartless...

You said you loved me, you said you needed me, you said you wanted to be with me. They say that one thing can change the world... But nothing as small as this, it wasn't me, can you not get this through your head? Can you not see what I would be willing to do for your trust, love, and comfort? I would bleed for you. I would kill for you. I would die for you. I would give you every ounce of who I was for your touch. I would give up forever to touch your skin one last time...
Let me hold you, make you see, what it is you truely mean to me. I want to look into your eyes one last time and get lost... Feel your hand upon my body and feel the way you made feel. When you held me you made me see how mush someone could really mean to me. But yet you lied, as a I prayed you wouldn't and I could do nothing. I was helpless upon the thing I promised myself I would always keep alive. You've left without a trace with nothing of me in your mind. I'm not even a memory to you, and yet I'm the one sitting here crying, dying deep inside...
I want to bleed for you again, but in a different light. In the light that shines from you. Being with you is my only serenity and yet your not here to save me. You promised me your love, your soul, your life. And yet what do I have to prove this? Nothing. And that's all I'll ever have... You told me I was the one you wanted, and yet it was another lie. I have no more tears to give to anyone, I'm all cried out and yet you cannot see my hurt, you cannot see my pain. Your touch is what I need to breathe, your soft hand upon me. I want to run my figers across your lips one more time then I can die in peace, knowing that I have forfulled my one last dream.

I need you,
To see,
To breathe,
To be.
Don't let me go...
Come back to me...
I'm falling...
And yet your the one who promised this to me...

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 22:33:06 GMT

Do you know what it's like to feel lost inside?
To feel empty and yet nothing you do will make it go away.
No matter how hard you try it doesn't go away, it can't... It won't.
You look at me as if I'm lying to you, as if it's my fault, but it's not and I just can't bring myself to make you realize that.
Why can't you see that your breaking me?
You look at me as thought I've done something wrong.
I wish I knew what I had done, then maybe I could make this pain go away.
If only you could see the feelings that I hide deep inside of me.
But once again you see all that you want to see but not whats really there, you don't want to, and you never will.
Because all you care about is your self and nothing else.
I need a reason to be here, something to live for. But of course you can't see that, you won't even try.
You can't see my pain, but yet your the ones who caused it. And this won't go away untill you know how to stop it.
Look at me and tell me what you see, becasue I just don't know what to do anymore. You have no idea how I feel inside because you put forth no effort to try to see.

Hear me.
Feel me.
See me.

I need a reason.

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 04:31:20 GMT

FUCKIN' BOOBIES! I LIKE THEM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

Thanks for your time. :)

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 19:04:35 GMT

Last night was wild... Talk about drunk. Steph puked like 9 puddles up in my barn, Will passed out on me, I was shitfaced trying to tlka to my parents, me my mom and my dad talked shit over my mom took most of my friends home 'cept Steph because they know how much shit she would have been in... My mom read my journal, and all the poems, she says that she's taking me to a psychiatrist, and she'll keep switching them untill we find one that I like and can talk to, but I told her I wasn't telling someone my problems just because they get paid to hear them. So she said that if i won't go then she's going to emmit me to a psychiatric ward for little while untill I can straighten shit out. I'm too young for this shit. Fuck that.